A Light, A Window, An Outlook.

In our dreams we use our sub-conscious as our guide leading us down a path that follows the heart. we use it without limits or boundaries. In our conscious state, every step we take is calculated, and made with countless thoughts and questions. how often have you asked: 'what ..,where..,but.., how.., why..,should i, could i,would i,...' We use our limitations as excuses and wonder where true happiness is. I can probably say with good reason that without confirmation, we are lost pretty much most of the time. i want you to follow me on this.. take a second and lets step back and see another way.. worst that can happen is you continue on the way your were, best is we can have another perception, maybe a knew way of living ... We have the 5 W's (who what where when why) We have the 5 senses (touch smell sight hear taste) remember that.. Some say spontaneity is a useless effort that leads us no where and teaches us nothing. Would you agree though.. if i told you that it comes from the sub conscious reaching out and making you able to 'ease up, let go, or just try something' without the limits or boundaries we tie on it.. With spontaneity there is no permission we usually seek for, there is no guide, there are no questions, there just is and its what you make of it. the outcome is not to be determined but to be used if wanted and learned from. We do not use the 5 W's, we use the 5 Senses and by doing so, we get the full sensation out of it. we learn the answers without asking the questions that just waste time and make you procrastinate. Hear me when i say this, smell the sweetness of the words, feel it in your heart, taste it with your knowledge, see it in your mind; 'I shall walk through this life with 5 things only as my limits and boundaries. these 5 things will be the only things i ever question or ask of, and these 5 things will be the only thing to hold me back from following my heart.. I shall Speak no Evil. I shall Hear no Evil. I shall See no Evil. I shall not touch Evil. I shall Smell only Heaven and Earth. And with this i will always find my way, never judge, smell only the sweet air, see only the good, hear only the best, do only the wonderful, say only great and feel Always happy and Positive. i shall live as though heaven and earth are one. But for you, the choice is yours and only yours to make. God laid the foundation for you to walk on, you must do the walking. What i do is i write. i write from my heart and soul but lately i have been tripping on my own foundation because of analyzing, fears and questions. As a person it is normal as we have our guards and walls, but for me its been making me realize that today is today. tomorrow will be tomorrow and questioning the path God has allowed me should not be. I will walk my path and do as i write because to write something, and feel it so strongly is what makes a person who they are. i am who i am. I've never been happier in my life. i have two wonderful loves in it and a beautiful outlook even through the negativity that gets thrown our way. I take my past as wonderful learning experiences because i wouldn't be who i am today without walking what i walked yesterday. no one is perfect but you can define perfect and make your life and who you are into what you believe it to be and i believe mine to be in my definition, perfect. A.~

Two of the most commonly misused and misunderstood legal terms are libel and slander. Both terms involve defamation of a person's character, but they are different forms of defamation of character. Legally, there is an important distinction between the two terms, because libel damages are usually assumed, but in the case of slander, the plaintiff must usually prove special damages.

1. Understand the definition of defamation of character. Defamation of character is the communication of false information stated as a fact which brings harm to an individual or an entity, such as a business, group or government. For it to be defamation, the statement must be delivered in speech or in writing to at least one person other than the victim.

2. Learn when to use the term slander. Slander is used when the defamation of character is spoken. This can be person to person or a person speaking to many people.

3.Say the term libel when referring to the written defamation of someone's character. Libel is the defamation of an individual's or an entity's character which is published in a written medium, such as a newspaper. However, any written communication can be libelous as long as it's transmitted to a third party.

4.Use the libel term when the defamation of character comes from audible media. Now, most courts consider defamation of character made during a radio or television broadcast to also be libel, even though the defamation was spoken.

5. Know the absolute defense against libel and slander. There are a number of possible defenses against libel and slander, but the only one which is an absolute defense is truth. If the statement is true, it cannot be considered libel or slander.

They are both not a crime but can Turn into one. Point is, don't do it. I won't say i havn't because that would be a lie, but it was not worth it. Always be the bigger and better person in any circumstance, and my last blog is a good reason why. I sunk to the same level as the person against me and it was not worth it. A.~

The Beginning..

The reason i started it was because i always wrote in this notebook i had and realized i wanted to share what i had to say. Later as time went on i didn't realize how many people really did blog. It was surprising for me to realize how popular it was and what a great tool it could be for aspiring writers.

I did always want to write, but i never thought about publishing. Needless to say, starting this blog gave me the courage and the 'Wanting' to publish what i needed to say, what i wanted others to know and the way i thought. And my book is something i am very proud of.

moving on..

In 2005 after my first.. 'break' from my husband, i was introduced to a group of women, by my friend. It was absolutely fantastic. They were women with stories, some battered, some struggling, some lost, some addicts, but all in all they were so strong and they were there, pouring their hearts out. My inspiration soared and i made a promise to them that i would dedicate what i did to and for them. So i changed up my blog. after getting to know them and hearing what they had to say. I dedicated it to them. I had some who took advantage of that and took the blogs i wrote to try to make them a joke. So i took the page down and made some decisions. Anyway until 2009, when all that went down, i had my dedications out there and they knew that. That's what is important.

I restarted my blog because i learned a lot over these couple of months. There is no reason why i write other than that i like to and its a hobby. Its something i enjoy and whether someone likes it or not, is not what I'm aiming for. i try to be controversial but in the end the bottom line is i write from the heart. You want to take my writing and twist it, that's not my problem, its your addiction.

A conversation came up with a couple friends, which i won't say what it was about, but it opened my eyes that some people are seeing this as a page against them or as a negative page in general. I didn't really get it, but third person perspective is always a positive thing. So here's what i am saying and what i am going to do..

The lies i have seen I'm going to pretend never existed, The insults i endured I'm going to keep not caring about, the threats and bullshit written about me i will turn my head on, but more importantly What I'm going to Say is this blog exists for me. Me, Myself and I. You don't like being a bully or you feel intimidated don't read my posts and don't be a bully. I will not back down in fight because of ignorance. You have no right to attack innocence, but i do have the right to speak of you doing it.

As a strong believer in being against Bullying

So what i am saying, if not yet understood, is THIS BLOGGER PAGE IS FOR ME AND NOT ABOUT ANYONE NOR IS IT ABOUT USING ANYONE TO GET REVENGE OR WHATEVER THE THOUGHT PROCESS MAY BE. ITS A PAGE FOR ANYONE AND EVERYONE TO SEE AND ITS ABOUT HOW I THINK AND WHAT I WANT TO SAY IN GENERAL. ITS FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING AND I GIVE THEM MY PERSPECTIVE ON IT.

I created a page on facebook against bullying because i can't stand watching these kids and teens commit suicide due to others words. And that is all. Don't give yourself credit where its not deserved.

That title has stayed the same all through out the years. Which is why i named my book Just Because Life. basically what i'm saying is.. Move Along.

I don't dwell on the past, nor do i lie, i do not care about anyone enough to write about them, go through all there stuff such as facebook or their blog, and i do not try to use others to do research on them for me. And as insane as that sounds you might be seeing exactly what you are doing. Maybe this will be your eye opener.

Life goes on whether you like it or not. Period.

Don't bother me anymore, don't write me, text me, don't comment to me because i don't care what you have to say. To hate someone, to be against them, to trash talk them or create pages against them, makes you a sick person. Makes you even more sick to talk about their child and have no idea who they are. I don't want any part of that. Anything that you do, write, or say i don't read nor do i care so your wasting your time. It does not bother me and never will. Good luck with all you do.

A.~

For Every Action, There is Reaction

I can't tell you how many times I've wrote on this and about it, but it really doesn't matter because the objective is to get a point across. I will do all i can for that to happen.

When I grew up nothing was easy, nothing. i worked for everything i got and i worked hard. School was the worst for me though. i hated going because i never quite fit in with anyone, never wanted to and that was a problem. i didn't like anyone and i didn't like 'clique's' so i stayed to myself or had a few friends and just did me. But that's not OK to other people. That is a moving target for other kids and so i became one. but it never seemed to bother me much. never really understood why, maybe i didn't care, or maybe i just had more important things to focus on. Most of the kids i knew were spoiled brats and i figured they just were not worth my time. i never had anything to be jealous of and i had no reason to hate. To me words are just words and mean nothing unless you let them mean something. And still to this day WORDS ARE JUST WORDS.

People don't always think like that though. every day millions are bullied in so many different ways it hurts my heart to think about it. I try to position myself in their shoes, but i just can't because no body's opinion ever mattered to me except my own. I grew up strong and a lot of these kids don't have to, which is not a good thing. IF you don't learn to be strong than you won't know how to get through the obstacles of life. I can say this much, at least the bullying that happened in my day- as a kid- was done in person. there was no other outlet. we didn't use the Internet like they do now; Facebook, Myspace and all the other crap and we sure as hell didn't do texting when cell phones finally were allowed to us. So everything we took was up front and maybe it made it different. Less intimidating because you knew who the bully(s) were, how much better you were, and it made you toughen up. you were able to fight back face to face. I never did walk away from a fight, i was always a fighter. But today you have cowards. that's exactly what they are. Why would you take the "WORDS" from someone through text and Internet and let them hurt you?

But if that's what you know and that's all you know, than i can see the difference. i know that a real person, one with balls and guts, if they have something to say they would do so to your face and you work your shit out. you don't run away. Now though its not like that. people hide behind a screen and torture others for the amusement of it, and its so sad and disturbing. It is an illness, proven as well. To me though it just says your not worth your own spit and makes you a gutless ass with no spine. I had my own battle with this whole Internet and texting crap and all it did was get the people bothering me arrested. I'm not one to back down nor do i tolerate morons, so i let the proper people do it while i go on about my business.

I'm doing all i can to be an outlet for these kids and teens going through this because the first thought to them is that they are alone. My main goal with anything and everything is to tell people they aren't alone. These suicides are a heart breaker because no one should ever get to you like that. ever.

I wish i could enforce the fact that WALKING AWAY and ignoring what shouldn't be acknowledged, is the best defense and you ALWAYS win. It takes a REAL and STRONG person to be able to keep on walking, but it takes a real loser to try and prevent someone from going about their own way. Meaning a bully is nothing more than a distraction if you let him/her be. We do have that choice. It is very hard though. Things are always easier said than done, but its time to step up to a different plate and use a different approach to end this.

I've always said and believed to this day, Jealousy is a disease; Hatred a side effect. And always remember that in order for you to get noticed, you must be doing something right.. That's who they target. Haters always go for the better people so in another sense some should take it as a compliment when words are just flung. unfortunately it goes to so many levels beyond words that it affects lives. Speak up and don't let it go that far. don't be a side liner and watch it, say something, don't be a coward, help someone. You can only be a victim if you let yourself be a victim. But a bully will always be a bully, just a person who has to much time on their hands and tries to hurt others. They shouldn't be given the time of day. One day they won't... Keep Hope, Have Faith and Always Believe. ~A.

10 THINGS YOU CAN DO for/ about BULLYING

1. Is your child, teen a bully? Are they a victim?

2. You see it, STOP IT. (if your out and you hear words thrown around and/or someone being pushed around STOP IT.)

3. Don't judge others, EVER. You have no right nor are you better than anyone. Were all equal and those choices we make are none of anyone's concern. So mind your business and if you got nothing nice to say.. DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

4. Your friends reflect who you are, so if you are friends with bullies or even just one, you are considered a bully for just standing there and doing nothing. You can make a difference, you choose not to. your no better than the bully. Remember to stay around positive because it reflects off you.

5. If you hear about someone being bullied SPEAK OUT, SPEAK UP. Don't let them be alone. Report it anonymously if you want to be unknown be REPORT IT!

6. If you are a victim don't take it. you don't have to and know your NEVER alone. never will be and there are so many going through the same thing. speak up, don't let it get to you if you can and Please ask for help. No person has the right to be a bully let alone judge you.

7. No one knows you. Your best friend doesn't even know you. YOU know you though. you wake up and go to sleep with yourself. Tha'ts what matters because you live with yourself. Everyone is gifted, loved and special. EVERYONE no matter the b.s. out there.

8. Jealousy, Hatred, Fear (acceptance): are the three motivations for bullying. Remember that. So if your a bully think about that and if your a victim now you know.

9. Do Not Turn Your Head to it. It makes you ignorant.

10. NEVER consider your life not worth living. you will never know the best you can be if you don't try and everyone deserves a full life.

1 of every 10 people born is gay. That means 1 of every 10 people is instantly put down, given bad labels, left alone, put in minority, and so much more, just because of who they are. Many gay teens are turning to suicide as a way of escaping.Please do NOT let this be you. Don't Judge, Don't give up and don't fear. Your NOT alone.

Bullying and the effects

Whether you admit it or not, you have seen into the face of a victim. You have seen the blood, bruises, pain and the fear in their eyes. You've seen the anguish, guilt and can sense them losing hope.

My question though, is have you ever looked into the face of a bully? Do you know what you would see? Do you understand that everyday you pass one by and would never be able to pick them out from your average person on the street?

Someone once told me that everything that happens, happens for a reason. I believe that with a full heart because I have seen the reasons with my own eyes. We can be blind to that when we lose hope, but they are there. A bully has a reason and the victim has a reason. But the thing is, its not enough of a reason to keep it going.

A bully will always have the edge. We always look directly to the victim first, but what needs to happen is to have both of them face to face. Meaning you take the bully and the victim and face them to each other. Let them see who they really are and the reason. Its a realization i have seen in person that not only makes a difference but changes many lives.

The core thought of a bully, if young such as a teen, is that they don't see what they are doing. they don't see the pain, nor do they care. They continue to do what they do because of their reasons. But that's where society is wrong and why it continues to progress and get worse. A bully no matter what age knows exactly what they are doing and why they are doing it. The main reason for them to turn this route comes from within the home. Acting out because they regress, speaking out what they hold in, re-enacting what is done to them, or looking for the attention that is never there.

20 Years ago this wasn't a problem. you will always have your classic arguments, fights and so on, but it never progressed further than that. There was no Internet to cyber-bully, harass and stalk someone. There was no phone to prank call or text crude things. There were more rules and more attention from families and schools. Kids were disciplined and their actions were watched. So where did we stray so far off the path that we now have kids, teens and even adults turning to suicide as a way out from the torture they endure day after day, night after night .

I want you to think about your own life for a minute. reflect back on how it was for you and who you were in all this when you were younger. Think about your home and the influence it had on you growing up. I'm going to have three sides going by age. You have the ones who went through school and got to grow up without the bother of "bullying" because it wasn't there nor was it a problem. than we have our victims. i myself fall into this category and i have no shame in saying so. i remember how my home life reflected on my outside life, how i was treated and what i endured growing up. And now we have our bullies, or what they call themselves "better than everyone else'. I bet you will think for a minute that you did have those tendencies and have caused pain in some peoples lives. But you will also sit there and tell yourself that you weren't a "bully". And that is where the problem is.

You have a drug addict, a drunk and a bully, and you go and ask them if they are indeed an addict, a drunk and/or a bully. What do you think the answers are going to be? (No.) Its a problem and it needs to be addressed as a problem, not a fall-out as I've heard it termed. "He/she had a bad day", 'He/she was angry', and so on. That's a cop-out.

For my parents, when was the last time you even thought of any of this? I would bet that most of it never crossed your mind, and you would fight tooth and nail to deem your child, teen innocent. Just like the victims parents are fighting tooth and nail for justice, or they are doing nothing at all because they have no time, they think nothing of it, or because they tell their kid(s) to be tougher. Both sides are not getting what they need. Whether its punishment or just being held and protected after being attacked. And the biggest excuse from parents: "There were NO SIGNS." There were signs everywhere, you just chose not to see them. I'm sorry for that harsh reality.

No one is perfect nor should they be. But ignoring problems, not believing they have problems and/or not wanting to see problems is causing deaths. Bullying in any form is not right nor is it fair to either the bully or the victim. There is always two sides to a story and the victim will always be just that.. A victim that got pushed around or talked about because of what? jealousy, anger, hatred, maybe the feeling of "I'm better than you"? And all the while we sit back and Watch knowing whats going on and why its happening.

Well for me, I'm not sitting back and I'm fighting with everything i have to end it. To make it understood and make it an awareness that it is not right. I even went and got the courage to publish my book for those like me who didn't have anyone to turn to. who endured the pain and came out something better, someone stronger. I have the how's and whys. I give the encouragement and the knowledge because no one is alone, ever. They should never feel that way and its a big point I want to make.

So..

I'll ask you again, when was the last time you looked into the face of a bully? Can you answer me now? If so than maybe we have a start to a solution..

Recognition.

Alicia M. Genna

Diseases, Disorders and Meds

ANTIANXIETY AND HYPNOTIC DRUGS

Drugs that reduce anxiety and assist sleep have many effects in common with one another and with alcohol. These effects on memory often include a slight immediate deleterious effect, a long term damaging effect on the brain from high dosages, and acute confusion if stopped abruptly after being used for extended periods. Seizures and mental disturbance can occur during withdrawal. These similarities, in effect are probably because all these substances act on the GABA (Aminobtyric acid) receptor, which inhibits nerve cell activity.

The terms "minor tranquilizer" or antianxiety drug, refer to a group of drugs of which the first were phenobarbital and meprobamate (Miltown, Equanil). These two old standbys have now largely been replaced by newer ones belonging to the chemical class called benzodiazepines. These started off as chlordiazepoxide (Librium) and dizepam (Valium) but have proliferated along with the profits of the drug companies making them. They now include clorazepate (Tranxene), flurazepam (Dalmane), oxazepam (Serax), temezepam (Restoril), alprazolam (Xanax), clonazepam (klonopin, prazepam (Centrax). triazolam (Halcion), and lorazepam (Ativan). There is little to choose among these drugs except in terms of length of action. Halcion and Ativan are particularly short acting.

The Case AGAINST Benzodiazepines

Unlike the antipsychotics, the benzodiazepines are quite pleasant to take and can be addictive. This is among the features that has led restrictions on their use. Reluctance to assuage anxiety with a drug that gives an immediate subjective sense of relief may be a manifestation of the puritan ethic rather than entirely rational practice... Now the rules and regulations have changed and OBRA have stepped in with restrictions. In turn these drugs are for short-term use.

So When those options are now over its time to take a look at the reason you started and what your next step could be: You would be surprised at what's out there, right on the counter at your local drugstore. Than there are others that are available through your GP:

NONBENZODIAZEPINE Hypnotics..

Many medications are used to evade OBRA restrictions while satisfying a perceived need for sedation, anxiety and/or for sleep medication.

Diphenhydramine (Benadryl) is an antihistamine; it can be used in treatment of parkinsonism, and it causes drowsiness. Because it causes drowsiness it is used at night, as a hypnotic. Another multipurpose drug used frequently is hydroxyzine (Atarax), which can produce sedative effect and are commonly used, this way. The antidepressant Trazodone (Desyrel), is commonly used as a sleeping medication and now known for, again, its multipurpose uses of treatment. Some new studies have shown it to be an excellent aide in weight loss while keeping the brain steady.

Unfortunately, several of the older generation of hypnotics, such as chloral hydrate, barbiturates, and meprobamate, remain in widespread use. They are abused for their effects, with the knowledge of the permanent harmful effects.

You know its funny because so many things are different yet still the same. we just keep changing names and adding regulations.

Do you remember the word Nuerosis? Its now regarded as old-fashioned. What used to be called Anxiety nuerosis is now Anxiety disorder, and is divided in OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), Generalized Anxiety disorder, PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), Simple phobias, agoraphobia and more.

Everything seems to have a label these days, and when you have a label isn't there always a drug that goes with it?

Make sure you understand and have some knowledge before using and abusing. And if your one of the many who suffers from one or more diseases, understand how many options you have, how much help there is and never give up hope. There will always be a light, you just got to find the switch ; )

SpElLInG/GrAmMAr

I want to say I'm horrible at spelling, especially when I'm typing a mile a minute, but my grammar is not always.. that great. This is a blog though not a book so.. Spelling, grammar and the other crap i leave to MY EDITOR. So i apologize if its a bit messy but i think you will get the drift of what i'm writing. Thanks, A.~

Religion and Politics.

Noone should ever have to question what they think let alone what they believe. Religion and Politics. One of the sacred rules that a lot of us have heard or know is that you speak of neither unless its personal and asked of, or your in a debate. Has anyone questioned the why as to the sensitivity of the material and how it shouldn't be spoken of? i have. i also have asked others and gotten many opinions on the topics at hand. I will say that everyone justifies an excellent point and their were only one group that believed everyone else was wrong and that even their beliefs were wrong and believe it or not it wasn't atheists.. We don't speak of religion because it is a sensitive topic that a lot of people will never understand that others have the right to believe what they want to believe. That people should never be pushed to believe something they do not or challenged on their own beliefs. i am with them on this. What i believe is my business and i do not push it on to anyone else nor do i shout it out in ever open possibility. once in a while i will say certain things, but never in a way that you should believe my way. I've had other try to push me one way or another and nothing and nobody will be able to budge me. I'm nothing something to be sold upon. i believe what i believe because i choose to for reasons i myself have chosen. Politics is not much different. What one chooses should not be any business as to what another chooses. No one is right or wrong. there is no such thing. there have been to many battles on this subject because people always think that their way is the right way. well whats not to say the others way is the right way. there is nothing so to make a valid point both can be wrong. after all if you have a right, there is a wrong. My point is that beliefs are something that people choose because of different reasons. no one should challenge, question or change that. that in my opinion would be wrong. i know where i stand on both subjects but i keep to myself or in friendly manners when brought in on something with the subject will give and opinion and reason behind that opinion. and that to me is how it should be. because everything is based on opinions as there are No facts on either matter and everything comes from experience. There is one religion i have a problem with because it seems those that believe in it seem to question themselves to often, others to much and try to push anyone with ears or eyes onto the same path. There is no middle road with it, and they all are very dominating with it. I question it because why should it be that way? and it makes those people very angry most of the time, I've seen it studied it. They don't really understand what they are believing and resort to the material in which they are sworn on believing. and even than I've seen it stretched. another thing that bothers me on it is that one can be "re-born" or has to be re born in order to become part of that religion if converting from another. to me not only is that too much bullshit, but its almost like a scam. I have had this brought up to me many times and i have heard every excuse as to why i should believe that way or be this way and why all my beliefs are wrong. That alone, is enough for me to know, yeah something is wrong, but not what i believe, not who i am, so what else would be left..

A Few Words..

A while back i ran into some neurotic problems with more than a few people. the funny part is that it stemmed from just one person sending others after me or just talking it up to the point where a lot of people are interested in who i am. No names mentioned because i would never give credit when its not deserved. What i will say is this.. No one, nobody and nothing will EVER get to me. You can do, say and try what you want but because I'm better than that, because I'm not ignorant, I will not get down to your level. I will never meet on your terms and i never will be bothered let alone hurt by anything said or done due to jealousy and/or hatred. I know who I am, what I am, what I do and everything else I need to know. That's what matters and that's ALL that matters. I'm not on an interview, I'm not here to impress no one, in fact I could care less, but my point being I love who i am and won't change. I wont bother to waste time to child like comments, actions or responses. All in all who I am is who and what I want to be. I love everything about that. It took a long time to get here, but nothing is going to change that. As for my son, you can use him as bate but i wrote on this, its in my book for God's sake. "know your weaknesses because no one will point out your strengths. They will attack what you care for most and that becomes a weakness." My son is mine, I know that and I recognize how it can be used. I know my family will be used and I know everything else that can be used will be, but because I understand it, it doesn't get to me. It never will. Moral of this story is pretty simple. Stay you, but if you dislike others because you dislike yourself, than make a change and grow up. Life is too short to dwell on things and "woo is me" is just a childish attempt at attention that no one responds to. "it is what it is" is a saying i absolutely dislike because its not true in any shape or form. YOU make it what it is, you change the path your on and your destination. you are who you are because you want to be that way. its not what it is, its what you want it to be.. Think about that... A.~

October/ Breast Cancer Awarenes

God Bless to all the Survivors out there. Make a difference this month and do something for awareness XOXOXO

Heart Break

Lets be honest here. There isn't one person on this earth that hasn't felt this in one way or another. Whether from family, death, friends, breakups, its inevitable and nothing we can do about it. But don't we always wonder why it has to hurt so damn much! Than we try next time to build ourselves up so we make sure it doesn't happen again. But did that ever work for you? i know it didn't work for me. Every time it feels like it was the first time, or worse. Does it mean something more than the other, i really don't know but what i think is that the pain it causes is a reaction within us that we never knew was there. For example you lost a family member, of course no breakup will compare to that but at the time it feels like its damn close. But what about a breakup you thought you would never get over, but of course you did and later on you become part of another relationship. This breakup is far worse than the first one or maybe the other three you had. why? Like i said earlier we grow and time keeps going. sometimes we forget that. so every day we grow older wiser and more aware. Love grows in us everyday stronger than the last. Wouldn't it make sense that you give that person everything you got when you love? and now every time it would be different because we change and grow everyday. so it gets worse, or maybe it gets easier and we just don't realize it so with that the pain gets worse. we think were to old to feel, we think were prepared from the last time, and what about what we tried to block out, those walls we thought we put up... So now wouldn't it hurt more when all this rolls through your head while knowing a relationship is at its end? So technically we punish ourselves harder each time because we always blame ourselves even when we tell ourselves were blaming the other person(s). So knowing this is it going to be easier the next time? No its going to be worse and that's the truth because we know the whys, yet we never cut ourselves slack. This time though you will be prepared to hurt and not be delusionized by being made of steel.. It's just not possible when you have a heart and emotions. Let life happen, let fate work let God decide, let love have its way. Sometimes its not meant to be. don't curse i,t bless it because how are you to find the right man if your stuck with the wrong one? How is your family to move on if your stuck with grief only and no acceptance, and for all other matters.. Everything has purpose. Let whatever situation it is have its purpose and meaning and heal while learning from it. "Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional."

Reality vs. Fantasy

(featuring running...) You ever been through a time where you feel as though you couldn't take anymore and the best solution you can come up with is to run? Running is not whats its just made to sound like. There are so many versions its scary.For example running can be turning to drugs or alcohol, moving away from where you are, it can even be turning your head and living in a fantasy. fantasy being you see and hear things the way you want to and not the way they are meant. You turn the logic off and you take yourself away from things. Kind of like a light switch. you turn yours off so that you live in a dream like state just moving from day to day and doing what you need to but emotions and reactions are put away and you are basically numb. Some say its a natural response, i call it and name it fear. Your running away from something you need to face and isn't that the same definition of fear?.. And whats the best solution for fear but to face it head on. running, well its like the saying, "you can run but you cannot hide." it always catches up with you, but in this instance it builds in its process.. Its not healthy nor is it a solution, but if you feel its a survival method to get you through, than you do what you have to but always know there are solutions, answers and help out there. you don't have to run in order to survive, even its how you strongly feel when you get at that point.

Tired, Weak and losing Hope

Tired, want to give up, maybe just end it all... Look within yourself. Now tell yourself what you really feel. We all get to this point, aren't we supposed to? doesn't it mean something? and isn't it something or some way of our selves saying some-things got to change? Now whether or not you do something anticipates the end result. Who are you to think that you can't take no more? and who are you to say that your at the end and can't go no further? i believe in this case your options are so vile that what you choose is an epiphany of who you really are, and the outcome of who you will be. Everything happens for a reason, if you believe it or not may be the reason why your at where you are. Nobody wants pain, no one wants to be at the end of the hole, flat on their face, however you want to phrase it. But it happens and it does so for a reason. How many times have you told yourself you would never get here yet now your staring it right in the face blaming yourself. But you have no control over your fate. you have no control period. i won't hesitate to say over and over; control is only an illusion we delude ourselves with to make us feel we have power. in actuality you have power over no one and nothing. So this would be the time to make the changes, turn your life around, make what you got possible and stop thinking of what you don't have. Take this as a turning point in your life. Live with it because it will make you strong, but it will give you the knowledge that not only you made it but you are still standing when most who do fall, don't get back up. i encourage you, invite you, even Dare you.. To Get up. the rest is up to you, but i think you will be just fine, if not even better.Whether you feel that way or not, no decision is ever final and we forget that too often.

Hate; what is it and why is it used...

Why do we hate and what the hell is hate anyway? Where does it stem from and is it a real emotion, or is it a learned behavior? And than we have our bullies who take hate to the next level. I never understood this logic, probably because its not logical, but people, not all, live for making others feel pain because they feel pain. I'm sure the logic for them would have to be, "shouldn't others feel what i have to feel" Or they can spin it into "I had so much anger that it turned into hatred against..." What about taking a stand against it? My parents out there? How far does it have to go until you realize no matter what, hate in any form is WRONG. Not only wrong but it stems from somewhere and when was the last time you looked at yourself to make sure your not bully, your not being bullied, and if your a family, that your children are neither as well. It always starts in the household. Nobody has power. nobody has control. nobody is better than the other. were all wired the same way, even though people will fight over that. Sorry but realization can be a tough thing to understand. Were all the same, walking in different shoes and going about different paths. but we start from birth and go from there. thats how we become who we are. the people who raise us, the people we hang out with, the people who influence us and treat us the way they do. we take it and think its okay, and now thats how you should be. but somewhere down that line we forgot that we have our own brain, emotions and heart, and not everything is how it should be. So if i say jump i expect you not to jump but to either ask questions or just say no. everything else is the same way. To hate is to waste time out of your life that could have gone to doing something better. And what do you get out of it? look at our suicides ratings. is that okay for you? do you feel good about that or do you just cross it off as they must have been crazy or had a mental illness? i believe i have heard the latter on that too many times, yet when it came down to it they weren't sick at all, they were tired, hurt and didn't want to take any more thinking they would break. It doesn't take much to break someone, especially if you don't know what, who they are..weak or strong we range on a psychological warfare on what people go so far to do to someone. so ask yourself which are you and who the hell gave you the right to be God. just know HE turns his head when you call with hatred. To me there is no greater punishment. Remember wounds heal, hatred does not, it destroys and even kills. Try being something different. Try being you without the influences you were introduced to if you fall into a category of a bully. Be something different. Be a savior and help others the way your weren't. Thats also a way to heal. And finally where does the root of Hate actually stem from? Keep in mind that it always stems from a deeper source, such as an emotion(s) or feeling(s). Hate is neither of those and stands in a classification of its own. But one cannot hate if they do not love.. In order to truly hate someone you have to know what hate means, how it feels and where it comes from and thats where this usually sours on people because they use it in the wrong way and don't realize why they hate, just that they do. To make this easy to explain you cannot hate someone unless you have loved them in one way or another but bottom line is to know hate is to know love. Hate stems from love because the true meaning of hate is turning love into a downward spiral of revenge. If you do not love, that someone you think you hate you really don't hate. you just don't LIKE them. we use the word all too often without knowing the meaning or what it does to most people. Its so powerful and very concerning and it has an impact on anyone and everyone it touches. So can you hate someone just for nothing? And are you able to hate just because? No. Simple fact of life. in order to hate you must love and the reason you hate is to cover any emotion or feeling that you wish not to feel such as sadness or loneliness or even just dislike. but the point is you cannot hate something or someone without the power of having loving them, or it first. So hate, absolutely nothing and yet hurts the worse. The classic phrase we hear a lot are "haters". well why are they classified as such? because they do indeed hate? or because we can't see anything past the way they treat, act or behave? I would think the latter, and i would be right. They don't know hate because they do not understand love. and those who hate on others are honestly and truly jealous and that is all. they do not hate you or anything, they dislike the fact that they are not you and/or that they cannot be anything like what they want to be out of laziness, or disgust for themselves. so the next time you feel threatened by "haters" or feel someone hates you, hear it or see it, keep in mind what hate Really and truly is and in actuality know how pathetic the person using or acting out the word is. Some will tell you that hate is in fact an emotion, but it has never been proven and google is not the bible, its Internet. its also not college. Hate is a learned behavior or it is love turned to rage. Take your pick, but you know what? i could be wrong, and i am completely okay with that. At least i have an understanding of both Love and Hate and use only one of those words without and use for the other.