Whether you admit it or not, you have seen into the face of a victim. You have seen the blood, bruises, pain and the fear in their eyes. You've seen the anguish, guilt and can sense them losing hope.
My question though, is have you ever looked into the face of a bully? Do you know what you would see? Do you understand that everyday you pass one by and would never be able to pick them out from your average person on the street?
Someone once told me that everything that happens, happens for a reason. I believe that with a full heart because I have seen the reasons with my own eyes. We can be blind to that when we lose hope, but they are there. A bully has a reason and the victim has a reason. But the thing is, its not enough of a reason to keep it going.
A bully will always have the edge. We always look directly to the victim first, but what needs to happen is to have both of them face to face. Meaning you take the bully and the victim and face them to each other. Let them see who they really are and the reason. Its a realization i have seen in person that not only makes a difference but changes many lives.
The core thought of a bully, if young such as a teen, is that they don't see what they are doing. they don't see the pain, nor do they care. They continue to do what they do because of their reasons. But that's where society is wrong and why it continues to progress and get worse. A bully no matter what age knows exactly what they are doing and why they are doing it. The main reason for them to turn this route comes from within the home. Acting out because they regress, speaking out what they hold in, re-enacting what is done to them, or looking for the attention that is never there.
20 Years ago this wasn't a problem. you will always have your classic arguments, fights and so on, but it never progressed further than that. There was no Internet to cyber-bully, harass and stalk someone. There was no phone to prank call or text crude things. There were more rules and more attention from families and schools. Kids were disciplined and their actions were watched. So where did we stray so far off the path that we now have kids, teens and even adults turning to suicide as a way out from the torture they endure day after day, night after night .
I want you to think about your own life for a minute. reflect back on how it was for you and who you were in all this when you were younger. Think about your home and the influence it had on you growing up. I'm going to have three sides going by age. You have the ones who went through school and got to grow up without the bother of "bullying" because it wasn't there nor was it a problem. than we have our victims. i myself fall into this category and i have no shame in saying so. i remember how my home life reflected on my outside life, how i was treated and what i endured growing up. And now we have our bullies, or what they call themselves "better than everyone else'. I bet you will think for a minute that you did have those tendencies and have caused pain in some peoples lives. But you will also sit there and tell yourself that you weren't a "bully". And that is where the problem is.
You have a drug addict, a drunk and a bully, and you go and ask them if they are indeed an addict, a drunk and/or a bully. What do you think the answers are going to be? (No.) Its a problem and it needs to be addressed as a problem, not a fall-out as I've heard it termed. "He/she had a bad day", 'He/she was angry', and so on. That's a cop-out.
For my parents, when was the last time you even thought of any of this? I would bet that most of it never crossed your mind, and you would fight tooth and nail to deem your child, teen innocent. Just like the victims parents are fighting tooth and nail for justice, or they are doing nothing at all because they have no time, they think nothing of it, or because they tell their kid(s) to be tougher. Both sides are not getting what they need. Whether its punishment or just being held and protected after being attacked. And the biggest excuse from parents: "There were NO SIGNS." There were signs everywhere, you just chose not to see them. I'm sorry for that harsh reality.
No one is perfect nor should they be. But ignoring problems, not believing they have problems and/or not wanting to see problems is causing deaths. Bullying in any form is not right nor is it fair to either the bully or the victim. There is always two sides to a story and the victim will always be just that.. A victim that got pushed around or talked about because of what? jealousy, anger, hatred, maybe the feeling of "I'm better than you"? And all the while we sit back and Watch knowing whats going on and why its happening.
Well for me, I'm not sitting back and I'm fighting with everything i have to end it. To make it understood and make it an awareness that it is not right. I even went and got the courage to publish my book for those like me who didn't have anyone to turn to. who endured the pain and came out something better, someone stronger. I have the how's and whys. I give the encouragement and the knowledge because no one is alone, ever. They should never feel that way and its a big point I want to make.
So..
I'll ask you again, when was the last time you looked into the face of a bully? Can you answer me now? If so than maybe we have a start to a solution..
Recognition.
Alicia M. Genna
Whether you admit it or not, you have seen into the face of a victim. You have seen the blood, bruises, pain and the fear in their eyes. You've seen the anguish, guilt and can sense them losing hope.
My question though, is have you ever looked into the face of a bully? Do you know what you would see? Do you understand that everyday you pass one by and would never be able to pick them out from your average person on the street?
Someone once told me that everything that happens, happens for a reason. I believe that with a full heart because I have seen the reasons with my own eyes. We can be blind to that when we lose hope, but they are there. A bully has a reason and the victim has a reason. But the thing is, its not enough of a reason to keep it going.
A bully will always have the edge. We always look directly to the victim first, but what needs to happen is to have both of them face to face. Meaning you take the bully and the victim and face them to each other. Let them see who they really are and the reason. Its a realization i have seen in person that not only makes a difference but changes many lives.
The core thought of a bully, if young such as a teen, is that they don't see what they are doing. they don't see the pain, nor do they care. They continue to do what they do because of their reasons. But that's where society is wrong and why it continues to progress and get worse. A bully no matter what age knows exactly what they are doing and why they are doing it. The main reason for them to turn this route comes from within the home. Acting out because they regress, speaking out what they hold in, re-enacting what is done to them, or looking for the attention that is never there.
20 Years ago this wasn't a problem. you will always have your classic arguments, fights and so on, but it never progressed further than that. There was no Internet to cyber-bully, harass and stalk someone. There was no phone to prank call or text crude things. There were more rules and more attention from families and schools. Kids were disciplined and their actions were watched. So where did we stray so far off the path that we now have kids, teens and even adults turning to suicide as a way out from the torture they endure day after day, night after night .
I want you to think about your own life for a minute. reflect back on how it was for you and who you were in all this when you were younger. Think about your home and the influence it had on you growing up. I'm going to have three sides going by age. You have the ones who went through school and got to grow up without the bother of "bullying" because it wasn't there nor was it a problem. than we have our victims. i myself fall into this category and i have no shame in saying so. i remember how my home life reflected on my outside life, how i was treated and what i endured growing up. And now we have our bullies, or what they call themselves "better than everyone else'. I bet you will think for a minute that you did have those tendencies and have caused pain in some peoples lives. But you will also sit there and tell yourself that you weren't a "bully". And that is where the problem is.
You have a drug addict, a drunk and a bully, and you go and ask them if they are indeed an addict, a drunk and/or a bully. What do you think the answers are going to be? (No.) Its a problem and it needs to be addressed as a problem, not a fall-out as I've heard it termed. "He/she had a bad day", 'He/she was angry', and so on. That's a cop-out.
For my parents, when was the last time you even thought of any of this? I would bet that most of it never crossed your mind, and you would fight tooth and nail to deem your child, teen innocent. Just like the victims parents are fighting tooth and nail for justice, or they are doing nothing at all because they have no time, they think nothing of it, or because they tell their kid(s) to be tougher. Both sides are not getting what they need. Whether its punishment or just being held and protected after being attacked. And the biggest excuse from parents: "There were NO SIGNS." There were signs everywhere, you just chose not to see them. I'm sorry for that harsh reality.
No one is perfect nor should they be. But ignoring problems, not believing they have problems and/or not wanting to see problems is causing deaths. Bullying in any form is not right nor is it fair to either the bully or the victim. There is always two sides to a story and the victim will always be just that.. A victim that got pushed around or talked about because of what? jealousy, anger, hatred, maybe the feeling of "I'm better than you"? And all the while we sit back and Watch knowing whats going on and why its happening.
Well for me, I'm not sitting back and I'm fighting with everything i have to end it. To make it understood and make it an awareness that it is not right. I even went and got the courage to publish my book for those like me who didn't have anyone to turn to. who endured the pain and came out something better, someone stronger. I have the how's and whys. I give the encouragement and the knowledge because no one is alone, ever. They should never feel that way and its a big point I want to make.
So..
I'll ask you again, when was the last time you looked into the face of a bully? Can you answer me now? If so than maybe we have a start to a solution..
Recognition.
Alicia M. Genna
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