Friday, November 11, 2011
Realization
Sitting on a beach in the sand watching the water, we see so many gifts around us. sunrise, sunset how much life there is under the water and the beauty of it, the sand itself and what it can be created into.
Have you ever built a sand castle. one so pretty and detailed and you become so proud of your work. But than the tide comes in and the castle washes back into the water. and our determination fades as quickly as the sun in the sky. but why? because we fail to realize that not everything created with beauty will stay in the shape we try to mold? and isn't that the lesson there?
For years when a person has you tied down into being a person you are not, they are trying to mold you into something. But just like sand, we won't stay that way. Our beauty is within hidden deep within our hearts and nothing one can do can change that. but psychologically it takes a deep toll on the brain. your determination sinks because you cannot be this person someone wants you to be and so your in between hearing it and feeling it. And after a while you become wounded.
But all wounds heal with time and with the right people.
When you meet someone who thinks you are so perfect how you are and wants nothing more than you to be who you are its like a drug. you feel enlightened. But than the brain starts to question. What if this person really doesn't like who you are. The person before didn't, why now? And you try to mold yourself into different things to try and please this new person and fail miserably because it takes that to finally come to the understanding that they were real, and true when they said it was you they really loved. and it is a blessing to realize that. For some its too late as you have hurt this person so many times in trying so hard to be something your not thinking it would be right. For others this person is beautiful enough to put that aside and still hold your hand.
As you awaken to these new things you wonder why it was so complicated for you to understand it from the beginning. but years of psychological abuse takes a deep toll on the body and leaves scars you don't know are there until opened again. And how else do we heal the right way unless the scars are now finally open with truth and are closing with fact and love.
With love and Patience that someone gave you even while you were anything but kind to them. And not purposely, but because it was all you knew. the person before, well they gave you all their scenarios and the automatic thing is to recreate them, sometimes unconsciously, but it takes tough love to finally find the right way. your right way.
And now when you build that castle and it washes away you don't see disappointment, you see freedom. freedom to create new, and what you are everyday. the chance to realize that a mold does not last, but the foundation of that mold does. Sand is still there, just because the castle is not should show you that its not the building. its the tools you used to build and the foundation layed, that it will always be there. And that the sun will rise once again.
Asking for forgiveness is not a weakness because it takes every strength you have just to do so. And its the only way to free yourself from what was and start over being what is.
Be you and nothing but you because each time when the mold you build washes away, you are going to want to know who you are. not what you have to build again to be someone your not. And when someone loves you for you accept it. as difficult as it is. They love the sand and the foundation you can lay, not the building you can build. That you can do together..
<3 Always Ally
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