Heart Break

Lets be honest here. There isn't one person on this earth that hasn't felt this in one way or another. Whether from family, death, friends, breakups, its inevitable and nothing we can do about it. But don't we always wonder why it has to hurt so damn much! Than we try next time to build ourselves up so we make sure it doesn't happen again. But did that ever work for you? i know it didn't work for me. Every time it feels like it was the first time, or worse. Does it mean something more than the other, i really don't know but what i think is that the pain it causes is a reaction within us that we never knew was there. For example you lost a family member, of course no breakup will compare to that but at the time it feels like its damn close. But what about a breakup you thought you would never get over, but of course you did and later on you become part of another relationship. This breakup is far worse than the first one or maybe the other three you had. why? Like i said earlier we grow and time keeps going. sometimes we forget that. so every day we grow older wiser and more aware. Love grows in us everyday stronger than the last. Wouldn't it make sense that you give that person everything you got when you love? and now every time it would be different because we change and grow everyday. so it gets worse, or maybe it gets easier and we just don't realize it so with that the pain gets worse. we think were to old to feel, we think were prepared from the last time, and what about what we tried to block out, those walls we thought we put up... So now wouldn't it hurt more when all this rolls through your head while knowing a relationship is at its end? So technically we punish ourselves harder each time because we always blame ourselves even when we tell ourselves were blaming the other person(s). So knowing this is it going to be easier the next time? No its going to be worse and that's the truth because we know the whys, yet we never cut ourselves slack. This time though you will be prepared to hurt and not be delusionized by being made of steel.. It's just not possible when you have a heart and emotions. Let life happen, let fate work let God decide, let love have its way. Sometimes its not meant to be. don't curse i,t bless it because how are you to find the right man if your stuck with the wrong one? How is your family to move on if your stuck with grief only and no acceptance, and for all other matters.. Everything has purpose. Let whatever situation it is have its purpose and meaning and heal while learning from it. "Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional."

Reality vs. Fantasy

(featuring running...) You ever been through a time where you feel as though you couldn't take anymore and the best solution you can come up with is to run? Running is not whats its just made to sound like. There are so many versions its scary.For example running can be turning to drugs or alcohol, moving away from where you are, it can even be turning your head and living in a fantasy. fantasy being you see and hear things the way you want to and not the way they are meant. You turn the logic off and you take yourself away from things. Kind of like a light switch. you turn yours off so that you live in a dream like state just moving from day to day and doing what you need to but emotions and reactions are put away and you are basically numb. Some say its a natural response, i call it and name it fear. Your running away from something you need to face and isn't that the same definition of fear?.. And whats the best solution for fear but to face it head on. running, well its like the saying, "you can run but you cannot hide." it always catches up with you, but in this instance it builds in its process.. Its not healthy nor is it a solution, but if you feel its a survival method to get you through, than you do what you have to but always know there are solutions, answers and help out there. you don't have to run in order to survive, even its how you strongly feel when you get at that point.

Tired, Weak and losing Hope

Tired, want to give up, maybe just end it all... Look within yourself. Now tell yourself what you really feel. We all get to this point, aren't we supposed to? doesn't it mean something? and isn't it something or some way of our selves saying some-things got to change? Now whether or not you do something anticipates the end result. Who are you to think that you can't take no more? and who are you to say that your at the end and can't go no further? i believe in this case your options are so vile that what you choose is an epiphany of who you really are, and the outcome of who you will be. Everything happens for a reason, if you believe it or not may be the reason why your at where you are. Nobody wants pain, no one wants to be at the end of the hole, flat on their face, however you want to phrase it. But it happens and it does so for a reason. How many times have you told yourself you would never get here yet now your staring it right in the face blaming yourself. But you have no control over your fate. you have no control period. i won't hesitate to say over and over; control is only an illusion we delude ourselves with to make us feel we have power. in actuality you have power over no one and nothing. So this would be the time to make the changes, turn your life around, make what you got possible and stop thinking of what you don't have. Take this as a turning point in your life. Live with it because it will make you strong, but it will give you the knowledge that not only you made it but you are still standing when most who do fall, don't get back up. i encourage you, invite you, even Dare you.. To Get up. the rest is up to you, but i think you will be just fine, if not even better.Whether you feel that way or not, no decision is ever final and we forget that too often.

Hate; what is it and why is it used...

Why do we hate and what the hell is hate anyway? Where does it stem from and is it a real emotion, or is it a learned behavior? And than we have our bullies who take hate to the next level. I never understood this logic, probably because its not logical, but people, not all, live for making others feel pain because they feel pain. I'm sure the logic for them would have to be, "shouldn't others feel what i have to feel" Or they can spin it into "I had so much anger that it turned into hatred against..." What about taking a stand against it? My parents out there? How far does it have to go until you realize no matter what, hate in any form is WRONG. Not only wrong but it stems from somewhere and when was the last time you looked at yourself to make sure your not bully, your not being bullied, and if your a family, that your children are neither as well. It always starts in the household. Nobody has power. nobody has control. nobody is better than the other. were all wired the same way, even though people will fight over that. Sorry but realization can be a tough thing to understand. Were all the same, walking in different shoes and going about different paths. but we start from birth and go from there. thats how we become who we are. the people who raise us, the people we hang out with, the people who influence us and treat us the way they do. we take it and think its okay, and now thats how you should be. but somewhere down that line we forgot that we have our own brain, emotions and heart, and not everything is how it should be. So if i say jump i expect you not to jump but to either ask questions or just say no. everything else is the same way. To hate is to waste time out of your life that could have gone to doing something better. And what do you get out of it? look at our suicides ratings. is that okay for you? do you feel good about that or do you just cross it off as they must have been crazy or had a mental illness? i believe i have heard the latter on that too many times, yet when it came down to it they weren't sick at all, they were tired, hurt and didn't want to take any more thinking they would break. It doesn't take much to break someone, especially if you don't know what, who they are..weak or strong we range on a psychological warfare on what people go so far to do to someone. so ask yourself which are you and who the hell gave you the right to be God. just know HE turns his head when you call with hatred. To me there is no greater punishment. Remember wounds heal, hatred does not, it destroys and even kills. Try being something different. Try being you without the influences you were introduced to if you fall into a category of a bully. Be something different. Be a savior and help others the way your weren't. Thats also a way to heal. And finally where does the root of Hate actually stem from? Keep in mind that it always stems from a deeper source, such as an emotion(s) or feeling(s). Hate is neither of those and stands in a classification of its own. But one cannot hate if they do not love.. In order to truly hate someone you have to know what hate means, how it feels and where it comes from and thats where this usually sours on people because they use it in the wrong way and don't realize why they hate, just that they do. To make this easy to explain you cannot hate someone unless you have loved them in one way or another but bottom line is to know hate is to know love. Hate stems from love because the true meaning of hate is turning love into a downward spiral of revenge. If you do not love, that someone you think you hate you really don't hate. you just don't LIKE them. we use the word all too often without knowing the meaning or what it does to most people. Its so powerful and very concerning and it has an impact on anyone and everyone it touches. So can you hate someone just for nothing? And are you able to hate just because? No. Simple fact of life. in order to hate you must love and the reason you hate is to cover any emotion or feeling that you wish not to feel such as sadness or loneliness or even just dislike. but the point is you cannot hate something or someone without the power of having loving them, or it first. So hate, absolutely nothing and yet hurts the worse. The classic phrase we hear a lot are "haters". well why are they classified as such? because they do indeed hate? or because we can't see anything past the way they treat, act or behave? I would think the latter, and i would be right. They don't know hate because they do not understand love. and those who hate on others are honestly and truly jealous and that is all. they do not hate you or anything, they dislike the fact that they are not you and/or that they cannot be anything like what they want to be out of laziness, or disgust for themselves. so the next time you feel threatened by "haters" or feel someone hates you, hear it or see it, keep in mind what hate Really and truly is and in actuality know how pathetic the person using or acting out the word is. Some will tell you that hate is in fact an emotion, but it has never been proven and google is not the bible, its Internet. its also not college. Hate is a learned behavior or it is love turned to rage. Take your pick, but you know what? i could be wrong, and i am completely okay with that. At least i have an understanding of both Love and Hate and use only one of those words without and use for the other.